The Compass

Issue date: 2/4/08 Section: Opinion

I work part-time in a pharmacy and with it being flu season and all I have heard an enormous amount of women say, "Men are such babies when they are sick!" Ladies I, a man, am here to tell you that men are not babies. The truth is that women aren't naturally equipped to comprehend what is actually taking place. Let me explain.

As men we have this thing in our brain that makes us want to simplify everything. Which usually only works out half of the time, but when it does we cling to it. It has taken centuries of trial and error for men to realize how to use our surroundings to our advantage.

Like I said a man's brain is designed for simplifying. We know that there is a way to get everything we need without getting off the couch. I once saw a guy toss pillows at a light switch rather than walking 10 steps to turn it off! On another occasion I had a friend approach with the idea that we should invent a father's day card that was erasable and reusable because he got tired of buying a new one each year! We men invented the drive-thru, the microwave dinner, the universal remote and don't forget cheese in a squirt can!

After watching myself and my male friends I have come to the conclusion that men are not babies, we are simply lazy. Laziness is usually view in a negative light, but our laziness had led to countless innovations. What if a lazy bachelor never got tired of hand washing his dishes? Ladies, that means there would have never been a dishwasher. Some guy finally got tired of changing his CDs constantly so he invented the 10 disc CD changer and later another man got rid CDs all together by inventing the iPod . Finally, the crème de la crème is the recliner. Seriously, men can now go to bed without ever getting out of their favorite chair!

Our laziness is usually for good reason. We know that if we get off the couch that there is a good chance that you women might jump to the conclusion that we're feeling better and the last thing we want is another task to try and simplify. We probably aren't as sick as we make out, but it is that overwhelming laziness that makes us seem that way.

So, men really aren't babies we are just intellectually lazy! We are too lazy to do most things the conventional way and being sick is the perfect excuse to be lazy. Girls, we know that the women that surround us are a lot better than we are. We know that you love us so much that you can' help, but pity us in our greatest moments of laziness. Ladies, you put up with so much out of us guys and knowing that you deserve to know why we are the way we are and the only answer I can come up with is that we are just lazy!

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